Real quick post for you today. This weekend I had the opportunity to go to a birthday celebration dinner for a friend of mine. We broke bread ( literally and figuratively 😛 ) and spent time reminiscing ( and laughing ) on past moments in our long and beautiful friendships. It really got me thinking, “Where has time gone?” It seemed that literally 2 seconds ago, we were little girls writing songs and choreographing dance numbers, and now we are these “grown ups ” with careers and families and new priorities. It has really been a beautiful 25 years of friendship and I want to make it a priority this year to get back to the basics of friendship. Yes, we are all walking different paths of life and may not get to see each other as frequently as we are used to in years past. But I want to make sure that I cherish the moments that we do have together. Not taking for granted one second of precious time we have to continue making memories! There is a beautiful song I heard on ” So You Think You Can Dance” Season 3 ( US) many years ago called “Time” by Billy Porter. The dance piece that was done to this music actually made me shed tears. It was choreographed by the phenomenal Mia Michaels. Check it out down below:
Here are the lyrics :
What is time?
Is it the autumn leaves that change?
Or the snow that floats from the sky
What is Time?
Is it the air we breathe?
Or the wings that teach
The new born bird to fly
Who can tell?
I don’t know
Will we change?
Will we grow?
What is time?
Is it eternity
In heaven
Or just a hope for peace on earth
Where’s the time
Gone in a blink of an eye
But with every blink
a birth
We live
We learn
We love
In time
We give
We yearn
We grow
In time
Time for change
Its time to care
It’s not too late
Don’t despair
Reach inside your heart
To find the joy the love
To share with all mankind
For all we know
All we have
Is time
I hope this Monday finds you making great use of the time you were gifted!
“Goodbye, goodbye To all the fake people in my life ,I never wanted you around me so be on your way now.You better think twice before you let people in your life because when you put down no one is around you You got a case of the fake people….”
Have you ever been in a situation where you thought someone had your best interests at heart and was really looking out for you, only to find out that they really don’t mean the best for you at all? Have you ever had  a case of the fake people?
I have and let’s be honest we have all probably had that experience and it sucks! So how to you move on from a situation like that? How do you forgive someone when you are hurt so deeply? How to do you rebuild a friendship that has ultimately been shattered? I wish I had a “ready-made” answer for you. All I can do is share with you what I have done ( and still am) doing.
In the last few years, I had a “friend” spread such a vicious lie about me that it ultimately caused a rift for a short time between another friend and I . Thankfully my true friend was able to see the truth and we mended things( she actually apologized for doubting me) but how could I look at my “friend” in the face, knowing what she did to me and forgive her? Well, I ‘ll be honest, I didn’t. I confronted said “friend” about the situation and she lied point-blank ( and is still lying) to my face. Hmm… the old me wanted to knock her out and I almost did. I put on my shoes and coat and began the trek to where she lived. Thankfully I was surrounded with people who were my voice of reason and they were able to calm me down and help me think clearly.
Now before you jump down my throat, I am a Christian, but I’m not perfect., Every so often the flesh catches up with me and I have thoughts or make decisions that are not “Christ-like”. But I’m a work in progress! Don’t judge me… Pray for me 🙂Â
Anyway, so I decided I was done with this “friend”. I was cutting her off in all aspects. I deleted phone numbers, no contact on social media, just cold turkey I’m done with you. Except, our families are close and it was virtually impossible to not see her. So I tried ignoring her…. but then that just got old, and just like that I was over it.  I no longer wanted to be a slave to my anger. I just told myself ” Girl get over it”. A wise woman once said that you can’t always expect people to have your best interests at heart, sometimes they might burn you but you just have to love them anyway 🙂 . However this doesn;t mean you give a person the opportunity to continuously burn you. sometimes you have to love people, and love them whole-heartedly  from afar… To love God is to love people I constantly have to remind myself…. ( insert Luke 6:27-28) 🙂
Now don’t get me wrong once a friendship is damaged, it is almost impossible to restore it to its original state. You can repair it, but it will never be the same; and you what…some of the best things are slightly damaged. Situations like these cause you to take stock of who is around you and really see if your “friendships” are worth fighting for. Sometimes a friendship runs it course. Some people are in your life for reason, a season or a lifetime. I’m glad I’ve had episodes that have allowed me to let go of my “seasonal” friends and put all my attention in to my “lifetimers” . Never forget who was there for you when it really mattered. Sure,the end of a friendship is a big deal. Take your time to mourn that friendship, but don’t dwell on it forever. Move on with life but savour the memories. Maybe you’ll find your way back to each other and maybe you won’t…. Just keep living and remember no matter what they’ve done to you it’s your responsibility to love them anyway. Keep smiling!!
xoxo
Today im jamming on an oldie but a goodie. I put my Ipod on shuffle and had this song repeat alllllll day  🙂
Busy day so here’s a quick post. I spent a lovely weekend surrounded by people I love and spent  this evening with a dear friend at the movies watching “Insurgent”. Now I sit here on my bed reflecting and this is what came to my mind. Each and every moment is precious, not one second on earth is promised. So spend time doing what you love! Spend time with those you love while they are still here. Cherish each moment and never take anything for granted! I’m heading to bed y’all! Do what you do and go with happiness! ( inside Insurgent joke 🙂 )
Before I head to bed let me share with you what I’m Jamming on tonight! (and last night and the night before that… lol I’m obsessed) Naija music is running my life right now ( naija = Nigerian)
Yemi Alade- Kissing off her album “King Of Queens”.Â
Have you ever looked at your situation and wondered,”Why me?”. I know I have especially at the start of this year. Â But, this year I’ve decided and challenged myself to look at my situations with the attitude of, “Why not me??!!” Â I decided to call 2015 : The year of Purity: Pure Heart, Pure Mind, and Pure Spirit.
The pure heart aspect is really the main reason I titled my blog “Just love them anyway”. People will always let you down,break your spirit, damage you emotionally and cause you to falter spiritually… if you let them! This year, I’m not going to let them 🙂 I’m going to keep my heart pure and just “love them anyway”.
Pure mind ties in with pure heart. When your heart is unclean, your thoughts will soon follow. There’s a quote that goes something like this: “What others think of me is none of my business.” Not everybody is going to like you, and that’s okay! Once I learned to be okay with that, life became so much easier. Not that you should be a nasty,mean-spirited person and shun and completely disregard people’s thoughts or opinions… Just stop putting so much merit into what they think! Like one of my favorite YouTube vloggers , Shameless Maya says, ” Do YOU BOO! 🙂
Shameless Maya; Check her out on YouTube
The third part, Pure Spirit, pulls it all together. Once you have made the commitment to live with a pure heart and a pure mind, It becomes easier to draw in a spiritual aspect. Renewing my commitment with God, and striving to live a life that is pleasing to God, is again my goal this year.
Sometimes we spend so much time complaining and not enough time giving thanks! I finished a book this past week called,” The 72 Hour Hold” by Bebe Moore Campbell. ( It was a book in my last Wednesday Weekly Reads blog  and was on my list of books to read in 2015: check out those blogs here:
Umm…why did I wait so long to read this book??? It was so insightful into the true face of mental illness and how it affects not only the ill but all those who surround them. I won’t divulge too much in this blog post,but check back on Wednesday for a full review 🙂
However there was a quote in the book that really hit me. I mean it was a real aha moment. The quote reads: ” You can’t always beat what is difficult in your life. Sometimes you have to let it win and shout Hallelujah anyhow..” Okay…. wow. Just wow…
Situations will always arise in your life. Good,Bad and Ugly. Some, you will be able to bounce back from quickly and others may take a little time. Some situations will drastically change your life and you may find yourself in a rut you just can’t seem to get out of. However, it is important to change your mindset of your situation. If you let your situation control you,you’ll never overcome it. Easier said than done! How can you not let your situation control you? This is what I find works for me:
Change Your Atmosphere: Don’t stay in the same place, wallowing in your sorrows. Get up out of that room, go for a walk, take a vacation (if your finances allow,) take a day trip somewhere , go to a library or a farmers market, do anything but sitting and dwelling on your problems.
Change your Attitude: If you keep an attitude of,”Woe is me” your life will always resonate the air of woe is you! As bad as your situation may be ( and im not discrediting anyones situation) someone out there has it worse!
Change Your Crew: Surround yourself with people who uplift you not drag you down. The quote, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are is true. Find a core group of people to keep your spirits up when you are at your lowest. Find a group of people who will bring out the “best you” when you don’t feel at your best.
Find your passion: One of the best ways to channel positive energy into your situations, is to become involved in activities that invigorate you. Write a blog :), get involved with your community, paint, draw, whatever it is that you love just do it!
Take care of you: If you don’t take care of yourself, you physically won’t be able to handle whatever situation comes your way. Drink lots of water, eat balanced meals, exercise, get lots of rest
Finally the main thing I do to get through my situation is PRAY! Talking to God always fills me with a sense of peace that no matter how bleak the situation may seem, someway somehow, things will all work out.
Some scriptures that I have been holding super close to my heart this year are:
1 Corinthians 16:13-14, (New Living Translation)Â Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous.Be strong. And do everything with love.
Philippians 2:14-16 (New Living Translation)
14 Do everything without complaining and arguing,15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.16 Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.
Sidenote: I grew up in a predominantly Jamaican pentecostal church and my children’s ministry workers forced us to learn a song derived from this verse and I actually found it on YouTube LOL! Keep in mind this is a song i heard for the first time over 20 years ago 🙂
I refuse to let my situations control me. As bad as it may be, it could be a heck of a lot worse! Instead I choose to let God take full control of my situations and let Him work them out! Have a blessed Monday guys!
This weeks song reflection is: Give Me by Kirk Franklin( feat. Mali Music)
If you live anywhere near where I live in Canada, you know that Mother Nature has not been kind to us during this winter season. Right now she has us sitting at -14 degrees Celsius ( 7 degrees Fahrenheit ) and this is one of our warmer days!! EEEK! ( insert side eye and eye roll here)
Anyone who knows me well, knows I love to travel. Unfortunately, ( or fortunately) there are so many events happening ( weddings, big birthday celebrations etc..) that I have to stay put for most of the year. So with the exception of a quick NYC trip or two, exotic trips are off the grid until much later in the year! ( stay tuned..)
So I decided to do a quick blog of some of the warm places I’ve had an opportunity to visit. So sit back, grab a fruity drink and travel  to some amazing places with me!
Let’s start in a not so exotic place: Florida! I’ve had the opportunity to visit Miami, ( South Beach ) and Orlando! My previous visit to Miami, i stayed with friends but on my most recent trip we stayed in a little “hotel” ( more like a motel) on South Beach. It was clean, walking distance to the beach, food and shopping!) I travelled with 3 girlfriends and it was certainly a trip to remember! When we went in August of 2014, there was a lot of construction happening  on the main road in front of our hotel so it proved to be a bit tricky to get out of in the day but other than that it was the perfect little spot. Close enough to the life of South Beach but far enough away that if you wanted some peace and quiet you could have that! Next, the four of us travelled to Orlando to attend a church conference and we stayed at the BEAUTIFUL Rosen Shingle Creek Resort. This place was perfect Heated pools, hot tubs, on site affordable dining and close to the Premium Outlets and Walmart! ( Yes Walmart) We stayed 5 days and enjoyed every minute of it. 🙂 I would love to return and stay at Rosen Shingle again.
I’ve also had the opportunity to visit California many times from childhood on.Shout outs to my amazing Aunt ( Pastor Hope Harris) and Uncle( Pastor Neville Harris) for giving me a place to stay in beautiful LA! ( and special mention to my beautiful cousin Michelle Harris-Collins and her hubby Restee Collins and family for making each experience so awesome!)
Let’s get the most obvious place for me out-of-the-way: beautiful sunny Jamaica. It’s where most of my family resides, so this was a childhood vacation spot. From the hills of Manchester to the beautiful seaside of Ocho Rios, Jamaica is truly one of the most enchanting places on earth. I’ve also visited Montego Bay ( where i stayed at the RIU with a large group of friends) Negril, St Mary,May Pen, St Elizabeth and so on… 🙂
I’ve had the opportunity to visit Cuba twice. My first trip I stayed at the Sirenis La Salina Resort ( now known as Memories Varadero) and had a wonderful time! They say the food in Cuba is not the greatest and they are right, but at least at Memories I could find something pretty delicious to eat everyday. However on my next trip to Cuba, I stayed at Barcelo Arenas Blancas. STAY FAR AWAY! If this place was my first trip to Cuba,i would have never returned. The food: 😦  I lost weight in the week I was there lol) Pool was under construction. This hotel is a two for one hotel ( stay at one ,play at two) and I asked my travel agent to book us on the quiet side… sigh… she did not….  maybe I’ll blog about that experience in another blog… lol
I Then had the opportunity to go on a couple of carnival cruises. Let me start off by saying that i absolutely love cruises so my opinions may be biased!
On my first cruise, I boarded the Carnival Glory Eastern Caribbean Cruise: The ship set sail from Miami and sailed to the following Islands:
Half Cay-Bahamas: Went horseback riding,met a whole crew of Jamaicans! It was pretty cool
St Thomas: Still probably one of my favorite islands that I’ve ever visited. Magans Bay and Coki Beach, truly takes your breath away. Really good food too!
Puerto Rico: Visited the Bacardi Rum factory and some monumental sites.
Turks and Caicos Islands: Did some beautiful snorkeling here.
The next Carnival Cruise I took was the Carnival Valour Southern Caribbean cruise which left from Puerto Rico and stopped in:
St. Maarten: I can honestly say I truly saw a piece of Gods handiwork on this island. One of the most beautiful places I have been in my entire life. I visited the dutch side. The beach was literally crystal clear warm water and the whitest sand you have ever seen. I literally left a piece of my heart in St Maarten! Oh and we found a COGOP ( Church of God of Prophecy) on our way back to the ship! so cool!
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St Lucia: Truly a gorgeous Island. Even though it was a gray day, we still managed to enjoy some water sports and great company!
St Kitts: I had the opportunity to celebrate my birthday on this island. It was not my favorite Island but we met some really nice people here and still had a wonderful day.
Barbados: I wish I had more time on this island, but we totally got rained out! Thank goodness for the free wi-fi at Cockleshell Beach 🙂
I also visited beautiful St Thomas again. ( I really do love St Thomas! Second to Jamaica of course! lol )
Well that’s the end of my island experiences! Next up on the list of islands to visit are Mexico( 2015 🙂 ) Dominican Republic, Haiti, Trinidad and I’d love see Aruba and Dominica 🙂  I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to travel and I don’t take that privilege for granted! #blessed
Where are you guys travelling in 2015? Let me know!
Just heard some pretty devastating news… another young life cut short. Another mother without her child tonight….
It is so sad that in my short time on this earth (I’m in my late twenties) I’ve had to bury so many friends, acquaintances and family members. It would be one thing If these young people were passing away from terminal illnesses or freak accidents… But no, they are dying because of senseless acts of violence or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My heart is broken thinking about these young people my friends: Chantel Dunn; a York University student hit by a bullet while picking up a friend from a community center.( 1986-2006) My friend Niala, murdered by a jealous boyfriend ( who then later killed himself)( 2002) Jonathan Romero, murdered in an unprovoked fight ( 2003) Xavier,(murder: 2007) Â Jason (murder: 2009), Polo ( murder: 2008), Devon (murder: 2010),Ricky( murder: 2013), Brandon ( murder 2010) Kesean ( a little 9-year-old boy struck by a bullet while sitting in his living room) Marley( murder 2014) Aaron ( murder 2015)
Of all those names, six of those young men were fathers, present and active. Now their children will never get the chance to really know and remember them. It’s so sad. Justice has been served in only half of these cases.
Forgive me, I’m not saying this to be blasphemous or disrespectful, but what kind of society do we live in where people feel like It’s okay to take another man or woman’s life over some foolishness?? Like, where are you getting these guns and weapons and why is it normal for that to be the acceptable  way to settle a dispute? Why is okay to put your hands on person to the point where their heart can no longer stand the trauma.. What kind of world is this?Why are parents burying their children? I’m not yet a mother, but is this a world that I really want to bring life into? Lord have mercy… and what makes it worse all of the people on this list are of Caribbean/Canadian or Hispanic descent…. lives cut short by people of Caribbean/Canadian descent…. makes no sense to me. Ignorance at its finest…
I pray that these families find peace. I know I think of Chantel all the time and all the times we’ve missed out on as friends. She will never hold my children, she won’t stand up beside me on my wedding day.Nothing! It still burns me 9 years later. They say time heals all wounds? Yeah right! It merely softens the blow and makes it easier to bear. But this wound is still very much tender.
I’m one of the lucky ones because I know a peace that surpasses all understanding.( Philippians 4:7) I may never understand God’s plan, but I have peace because I trust His plan..
So’s here’s my Public service announcement:
Put down the weapons and pick up a book
Put down your fists and pick up a book
Get out of the “traphouses” and get into the school houses!
Make something of yourselves! Don’t become a victim to this  society. Prove them wrong. Be the person you were created to be…
Lastly, Love on those around while they are here. Time is not promised to anyone. Life is too short to waste… So to all my friends out there.. I LOVE YOU
Though I’m missing you
(Although I’m missing you)
I’ll find a way to get through
(I’ll find a way to get through)
Living without you
‘Cause you were my sister ( brother), my strength and my pride
Only God may know why, still I will get by
Oh, there were so many things
That we could have shared
(uh-huh)
If time was on our side, ooh yeah
(Time was on our side)
Now that you’re gone, I can still feel you near
So I’ll smile with every tear I cryHow sweet were the closest of friends
But I’ll wait for the day when I’ll see you again
I’ll see you again….
 
