Hey lovely people!
First off let me apologize for being missing in action for so long. I just needed to take a step back and reflect, refocus and recharge ! I had promised myself that 2017 was going to be my best year yet…and just shy of four months in, 2017 has not been great….. But what I’m learning in this season, is that even in the “bad times” God is still working things out for me and even if I can’t see it right now, there IS a blessing in my storm. I’ve also learned that there is so much to learn during each season of your life.
However, today’s blog post is not my story. If I ever thought my 2017 was bad, I just had to look to one of my closest friends to see that the storm she was facing was so much more difficult. Sharing her story ( with her permission) has really motivated me to keep pushing through my storm. She is grace personified and this is her story:
Why Not Me?
The morning of Friday November 4th, 2016 started off as a regular day but quickly turned into by far the worst day of my life. I was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy, a disease that I had never heard of until that day.
Looking back now, I am surprised at how calm I remained throughout my commute to work, at the doctor’s office, on the phone with my sister, at the pharmacy, and my commute back home. But then I remember my prayer to God that morning when the uncertainty weighed me down. I didn’t want to freak out and possibly make things worse. So I simply said to God “I don’t know what this is, but whatever it is, I know that you are in control and I am trusting that you will see me through it.” And then I slept for the rest of the ride to the subway station.
I got to the office, looked up a nearby clinic and found one walking distance that I had never seen before. I was in and out of there in twenty minutes! When does that ever happen?! The doctor diagnosed me right away, wrote me two prescriptions (Prednisone and an anti-viral) and assured me that I would okay. I walked back to the office, asked my boss for the rest of the day off and made my way to the pharmacy so that I could start taking the drugs right away. I was terrified and yet there was still a sense of calmness.
The next few days were the hardest for me. My emotions were all over the place. I was trying to stay as calm as possible because stress was a possible factor and I didn’t want to aggravate the situation. But at the same time, I was afraid to look in the mirror or to let anyone see me. So I hid in my room for five days until I was tired of being cooped up in my house. When I thought I was ready to face the world, I got ready to go to work but couldn’t make it past the front doors of the office building. I wandered the streets for the whole work day. Hoping to get different results the next day, I tried to make it to work again only to fail once more.
I spent a lot of time alone and in my solitude, I spent a lot of time reflecting and meditating. And like anyone else would, I began to ask God “why me?” That’s when I was reminded that God had a purpose for this chapter in my life that I could not yet see but that would in turn strengthen me and prepare me for whatever would come next. So I changed the question to “why not me?” My perspective instantly changed. When I started to feel sorry for myself, I remembered that my situation could have been worse and that people all over the world were dealing with worse conditions, circumstances and crises. What could have caused depression turned into gratitude. The smallest gestures had begun to mean the world to me. From the researched advice and tips to the encouraging phone calls, messages and compliments to the hand delivered flowers at work, I was shown time and time again how well I was surrounded by people who really loved me much more then I imagined. Even when I couldn’t see past the disfigured parts of my face, I learned to see beauty in everything which taught me how to eventually see beauty in me again.
This chapter opened up an area of my life that I myself didn’t know existed. This new found joy was not dependent on how I felt on any given day but on the reassurance that God had my back and would never leave my side. Life is full of surprises and when you least expect it, an obstacle comes your way. The way you face that obstacle, learn from it and move forward is a true reflection of who you are. I learned a lot about myself throughout this experience and as painful as it was, I feel blessed to have gone through it. It’s been five months now and I am almost fully recovered. I am convinced that the positivity around me had a huge impact on my recovery and the strength I found in my faith held me up. Sometimes it takes a storm to clear the path ahead of you. This was my storm and I can’t wait to see what’s waiting ahead for me.
Thank you Soph for allowing me to share my story and use your platform in my healing process.
(Thank you Steph for being so transparent and allowing your testimony help others! Especially me!!)
I wasn’t even going to post today. Trust me when I say, I didn’t have the motivation to use my fingers to type today. I was feeling super down. But I checked my email and saw that Steph had sent her story. ( we had talked about her writing piece when she felt ready. I had no idea today was that day!) A few minutes after I checked that email, I got a text from another friend just checking up on me. The last line of Stephs piece, had the word “storm” in it, and the song I had been humming all day was “Blessing in the Storm”. During my storm, God has been continually seeing signs and people to remind me that He is still there! I’m forever grateful and continuously stand in awe of how much He loves me, even though I don’t particularly like or agree with some of His current plans lol!
Storms can be disastrous. Storms can leave a path of destruction that may seem impossible to recover from. However, after every storm, the sun will shine again, the raging waters will rescind and life will return to as it once was. After a storm, there is often a rebuilding process, and after that takes place, you are able to really look back and take stock of what you have overcome and be positive about the future! The future is bright my friends! 🙂
Don’t give up during your storm! I repeat, don’t give up!! Your blessing is right around the corner! Although you may not be able to see it right now, there is a blessing in your storm!
Two scriptures that I have really been holding on to during this time away are:
Romans 8:28…. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Jeremiah 29:11…11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Have a beautiful Monday! I love you all thank you for sticking with me! I’ll be back to regularly scheduled blogging very soon!!