Let me be real with you for a moment. Growing up in a Jamaican church, I didn’t just go to church — I lived it. It was my second home. Sundays meant long services, strict rules, and a very clear picture of what was considered “holy” and what was not. And sometimes, it felt like the focus was more on what looked holy than what actually was.

For example, if the young people were serving, singing, ushering, or filling roles during Sunday service or youth service, it was assumed they were “on fire for God.” But what about their lives outside of the church walls? Did they truly have a relationship with Christ? Were they finding help for the things they struggled with? Were they being equipped with tools to navigate the challenges of walking with Jesus in real life? Too often, the answer was no. The appearance of holiness became the standard, and if it looked good, it was accepted as being good. That’s where legalism crept in — leaving many of us rooted in ritual instead of rooted in Christ Himself.

As a kid, I didn’t question it. I just went along because that was all I knew. But as I got older and started digging into the Word of God for myself, I began to see something I couldn’t ignore: so much of what I had accepted as “God’s way” was really just culture. It was tradition. It was law. And sometimes, it had very little to do with the actual heart of Christ.

Romans 12:2 hit me hard: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” That’s when I realized — renewal isn’t just personal. It has to happen in the church too. Because if we stay stuck in mindsets that choke out the Spirit, no amount of tradition is going to keep young people rooted.

And here’s the tough part: the leaders we’re supposed to look up to? Sometimes they’re the very ones holding on the tightest to those traditions. Jesus actually called that out in Matthew 23 when He warned the Pharisees about laying heavy burdens on people but not lifting a finger to help them. I can’t help but wonder if we’ve slipped into that same pattern today.

Now here’s where it gets even harder. If you sit in a pew long enough, you’ll see the divide — clear as day. The younger generation? We’re often the ones who compromise, who shrink back, who keep quiet just to avoid stirring things up. Meanwhile, the older generation grumbles at every new thing, every fresh song, every attempt at making church feel alive and relevant to the world we’re actually living in. And both sides — if we’re honest — get caught up in appearances. The young can be pressured to perform and look the part, while the old can cling to traditions that “look right” but may not produce fruit. And when those two worlds collide under one roof? Whew. It’s exhausting.

So, is my church home killing me? Not the church itself. Not the people. But the mindsets? The ones rooted in anything other than the Word of God? Yes, those can absolutely kill your joy, your calling, your fire for serving. Paul says it plain in 2 Corinthians 3:6: “the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” Legalism will kill you. Culture without Christ will drain you. A faith built only on appearances will leave you empty. But the Spirit? He breathes life back into us.

And let’s be honest — if we don’t figure out how to blend these two worlds, we’re in big trouble. The gap between generations is only going to widen. And if that happens, how will we ever reach the ones who are still searching? Jesus prayed in John 17 for our unity, not for the sake of comfort, but so “the world may believe.” If we can’t model unity across generations, our witness to the world is weakened.

So what do we do with that tension? Ephesians 4:2–3 gives us a starting point: humility, patience, gentleness, love. That doesn’t mean silence. It doesn’t mean giving up. It means we fight for unity with grace and truth at the same time. It means we stand in the gap, not just for ourselves, but for the next generation coming behind us.

Because if we don’t wrestle with this now, we’ll hand down the same cycles of legalism and discouragement we’ve had to fight through. And I don’t believe that’s God’s plan for His church. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:22, “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” That’s the kind of church I want to be part of — not bound by culture, not fooled by appearances, but freed by Christ. Not silent in fear, but alive in Spirit.

Declaration of Faith and Grace

I declare that my church home is not my enemy. The building isn’t killing me, nor the people in it. But I refuse to live under mindsets that suffocate grace and silence the Spirit. I declare that my life will be rooted in Christ, not in tradition for tradition’s sake. Grace will be my language, renewal my pursuit, and love my banner. By God’s Spirit, I will stand in the gap between generations — honoring the past, yes, but also preparing a future of freedom. I believe Christ is still building His church, and not even the weight of tradition will prevail against it.

Personal Takeaway

If you’ve ever felt the weight of legalism or been discouraged by generational divides in your church, know this: you are not alone. You don’t have to walk away from your faith just because the systems feel broken. Lean into the Word, let the Spirit guide you, and remember — transformation starts in you first. Your authenticity might just be the bridge someone else needs.

Journal Prompt

Take some time to reflect: Am I rooted in ritual, or am I rooted in Christ? Write down the traditions, habits, or expectations you’ve grown up with, and ask God to show you which ones are building your faith — and which ones might be keeping you from true freedom in Him.

Reflection/Prayer:

“Lord, open my eyes to see where I’ve traded relationship for ritual. Show me the places in my life where I’ve chosen appearances over authenticity. Teach me how to honor the good traditions while letting go of anything that keeps me from You. Root me in Your Spirit, not in performance, so that my faith is alive, real, and transformative — for me, and for the next generation coming after me.”

As I reflect on this journey, the song *For Your Glory* by Tasha Cobbs Leonard resonates deeply. The words, ‘For Your glory, I will do anything,’ echo the posture I long to have in this season. It’s not easy to stand in the tension of tradition and change, or to call out legalism when it has shaped so much of the culture around you. But for the glory of God, I will do anything—even if it means asking Him daily for the strength, courage, and discipline to stand up for what is right in His Kingdom. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about my comfort, or even my home church’s traditions. It’s about His glory being revealed in and through us.

Until next time….