Know Your Worth…

Know Your Worth…

Hey guys!

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not liked what was staring back at you? Have you ever been told that you are “too black” or “a little chubby”? Have you ever been told that you weren’t good enough? Have you ever felt that you don’t matter? I know I have and had I not grown up with a strong support system around me, these words could have been extremely damaging to my self-worth.

Everybody has those days where you don’t feel good enough, where you don’t feel that you are important. Today, I want to remind you that, you matter.

Unfortunately,in our society, women ( and I’m speaking as a young black woman) are sometimes only valued by how well they can “twerk” or by how many Instagram likes they can get… this is sad. Gone are the days where a women could be revered for her intelligence. Instead we have replaced that revere with disdain. We as a society in whole, place too much emphasis on the outer person and not enough on the inner person; the part of the person that actually matters.

A thought came  to me awhile ago: If you have a hundred-dollar bill and you crumple it up, is it not still worth one hundred dollars? Of course it is! Just because it doesn’t look like its worth something, doesn’t mean that it isn’t! Don’t judge someone or something by its outward appearance. Some of the best gems are a little damaged.

I read a book ( and subsequently watched the movie) called  “The Help” and in that movie there is a scene where the help Abilene speaks to her mistresses daughter. The daughter is not your quintessential “cute”child and she is well aware of this by the way her mother treats her. Anyway, Abilene empowers the child by telling her (and getting her to repeat ) this phrase: ” You is smart, You is kind, You is important”

(see clip below)

As an educator, I see low self-esteem in children as young as four and that scares me. We live in a society that not even our children are safe from scrutiny and judgement. I adapted the mantra from “The Help” and created my own. Whenever I detect that the class is feeling down, I encourage them to repeat this phrase, “I am special, I am important, I am kind and I matter”. We need to start empowering people when they are young so that when they get older petty things can’t shake them!

As a Christian, one scripture that always brings comfort to me when  I find my self-worth shaky, is Psalms 139:14

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

Amen! I take solace in the fact that He created me just the way I am and I’m okay with that! Somebody may say that I’m “too black” or “chubby” or “not good enough” but I know who made me and that He made me this way for a reason! So I’m going to love on me unconditionally and I’m going to give thanks to the one who gave me the opportunity to be me!

So don’t let anyone dull your shine! You matter! 🙂

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My Instagram Post This Morning

India Arie has a great song that is a great anthem about self-esteem. Some of the lyrics read:

I’m not the average girl from your video
And I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally,
Because I am a queen!

Have a blessed Monday!!!

xoxo

Phenomenal Woman…That’s Me…

Phenomenal Woman…That’s Me…

Phenomenal…

“very remarkable; extraordinary”

This week has been an extremely tiring week. So here it is, Saturday afternoon ,I’ve poured myself a glass of wine, popped some popcorn and have cancelled all plans for this evening! This social butterfly is clipping her wings for the night.

As I sit here in a total relaxed state of mind, my mind ran on a poem by the great Maya Angelou ( 1928-2014) “Phenomenal Woman”. It reads:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,   
The stride of my step,   
The curl of my lips.   
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,   
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,   
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.   
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.   
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,   
And the flash of my teeth,   
The swing in my waist,   
And the joy in my feet.   
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered   
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,   
They say they still can’t see.   
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,   
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.   
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.   
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,   
The bend of my hair, 
the palm of my hand,   
The need for my care.   
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
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I think this is a poem that all young women( especially women of colour) should read and let resonate within their souls.
Even the most confident of people have days when they look in the mirror and they don’t like what they see. Or don’t think they are good enough to match up to society’s standards. Let’s be honest,speaking as a woman of colour, the media doesn’t always paint us in a great light or give us the best role models to look up to ( i.e: the fist fighting, profanity laden,promiscuous  women of shows like “Basketball Wives” or “Bad Girls Club”.)
Unfortunately, role models like this seem to be the norm these days as opposed to great women like Dr Maya Angelou. Women are striving to “get money” and “land the richest baller” instead of getting an education and becoming a woman of formidable character.
But why is that? Why is it that some of us women choose to be validated by society, instead of inherently knowing that we are good enough. I too have struggled with this. I used to ( and still do at times) find it hard to accept that I’m good enough or that I’m worthy of my accolades or even worthy of love. Whenever something good happens, it’s like I’m waiting for the shoe to drop and all of it to be taken away because I don’t feel like I’m deserving of it.
Does anybody else find it hard to receive compliments? It’s not that I don’t appreciate them… It’s almost that I’m embarrassed to accept them. Again, why is that?
When i struggle with that concept I am inclined to re-read Psalms 139 specifically verses 13-14 which read:(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139&version=NIV)
13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
I have to delight in the fact before I existed God had a plan for me. Little old me!  We often place of self-worth on the premise of what society thinks of us instead of looking at the bigger picture. God gave up his one and only child on a cross to die to save humanity. If that isn’t a reminder of how treasured we are then I don’t know what is!
Even on my lowest of days I have to give thanks simply because of that.
I’m reminded of a quote from the movie “The Help”  that simply states, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important”. I even encourage the kids in my class to wrap their arms around themselves and repeat this as often as they can! ( I do it too!)
Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and remind yourself You is kind. You is smart. You is important…. Phenomenal Woman… That’s You!! ❤
Shout out to all the phenomenal women in my life! Love you dearly!
xoxo
This weeks song reflection: